Musings on Motherhood

MUSINGS ON MOTHERHOOD
by Corinne Medrana

"I feel that I am my truest self as a mother. This stage in my life will continue to make me into who I am meant to be."

Being a mom is something most girls think and dream about at some point in their life. The reality of motherhood can never be grasped in those fanciful imaginings. Motherhood for me is such an integral part of my identity. It made me who I am today. I feel that I am my truest self as a mother and no doubt that this stage in my life will continue to make me into who I am meant to be. It is a unique journey yet so very universal at the same time. A mother always learns from past experiences, marveling and reminiscing as she watches those following after her own footsteps. A mother also draws strength and hope for the future, especially from other mothers like herself.

Explore the reality of motherhood with me through the experiences of three generations of moms in excerpts and highlights from this interview-cum-conversation I had with Tita Nita Peña and Rina Santos.

"[Motherhood] exceeded whatever I thought it would be."

Is motherhood what you thought it would be before you became a mom?

Rina: As a little girl you’ll always look at your mom and say, “Oh that’s my goal, I want to be a mom!” I remember the day that I gave birth to Jacobo, I was just looking at him for such a long time and I thought, “Oh my, it’s far more. It exceeded whatever I thought it would be.”

Tita Nita: When I had my first child, actually she was premature so she was in the incubator for one month and at that time neonatology was still in its infancy so I wasn’t sure if she would make it or not. So at that point I really appreciated that motherhood is really not all roses.

Cor: Motherhood taught me love, I can’t not love my children, even if I’m angry or upset. Unlike if you have a falling out with a friend or a boyfriend, the love can end. But as a mother, I have understood the love that becomes who you are, and can’t be reduced, changed or erased.

"With motherhood my time wasn’t mine anymore. It was for my children and my family. My career as a physician became second place."

How has motherhood changed you?

Rina: When I was single I wasn’t really afraid to die. I thought, “Okay I go to confession regularly, I do my share of good things, I don’t think I’ll go to hell.” So I wasn’t really afraid, I had no one to care for but then now, who’s going to love my kids as much as I love them?

Tita Nita: With motherhood my time wasn’t mine anymore. It was for my children and my family. My career as a physician became second place.

"Sometimes just watching is difficult but I try to restrain myself and let them learn from their own mistakes because that’s the best way of learning things."

How would you describe or what characterizes the stage of motherhood you’re in now? And how are you as a mother in this phase?

Rina: Tita Nita said, “My time is not mine anymore” but I’m still hoping to have that chance of “my time.” I’m still bargaining. I’m still fighting for that, there hasn’t been complete surrender yet. I also have to work, we won’t survive if it’s just going to be Papa, I’m still struggling but then every night I go to sleep and feel that I wasn’t enough.

Tita Nita: At this stage now, all the children are married, they have their own families. I stay out of the circle, I’m just a watcher now. I see that the way I brought them up has helped them. I have my boundaries, I don’t go beyond that. The rest is prayers, I cover them with prayers every day. Sometimes just watching is difficult but I try to restrain myself and let them learn from their own mistakes because that’s the best way of learning things. It’s hard but we won’t be here all the time so they have to really learn to be on their own.

"...grandkids are a return on investment already."

What is the best part about motherhood for you?

Rina: Everything - cuddles, the affection that you get from them, the satisfaction of them learning new things and voicing out their own ideas from what you taught them. Or when they give you good advice!

Tita Nita: Seeing my grandchildren.

Cor: My dad says grandkids are a return on investment already. You get to enjoy all the cuddles and the affection but you don’t have the responsibility.

Tita Nita: It’s so nice when they come (before Covid). They would come every Friday and for me the best part is to see them go home with their parents. I don’t have to sleep with them and tuck them in bed.

Cor: You get all the great part of parenting, as you said though, it’s not a bed of roses, but now you get all the roses without the thorns with grandkids.

"Before I had big apostolic dreams, but now my only apostolic dream is to really get my kids to heaven."

Any last thoughts you’d like to share?
 

Rina: Before being a mom, your apostolate is always outside with your friends. The moment you become a mom, your apostolate really changes. Before I felt bad because we couldn’t go to EWC so much because we were all young moms, our breastfeeding dictated our schedule, etc. I felt I was just taking advantage of the benefits of being an RC member but not sharing it with anyone else. But now I realize this is even a bigger mission, you’re going to see it in the lives of the people they become friends with and the people they will influence. Before I had big apostolic dreams, but now my only apostolic dream is to really get my kids to heaven.

Tita Nita: The family is the basic unit of society, they’re the building blocks. When my children got married I told each of them, “Bring your families to heaven.” You’re so blessed you’re with the movement, you have the materials to help you build a good foundation.
 

Being a little farther along this path of motherhood, I want to tell the RC moms like Rina following behind that you are all amazing. It is such an inspiration to see how you are striving to raise your children within homes and families committed to Christ and His Kingdom. I also want to encourage you to persevere because all your sacrifices in these tiring years of giving even when you feel there’s nothing left to give will surely bear beautiful fruit! You and your children give us so much hope.

Being a little farther behind this path of motherhood, I want to tell the RC moms like Tita Nita that you are so amazing, too. It is such an inspiration to learn from your wisdom and experience. I want you to know how grateful we are for the value that you bring because of what you share and impart to us. Your witness and encouragement give us so much hope for ourselves and our children.
 

"It is such an inspiration to see how you are striving to raise your children within homes and families committed to Christ and His Kingdom."

About the Author

Corinne Medrana has many roles but what she is most proud of is being a wife and mother of five. Her life revolves around managing Team Medrana, managing admissions in Everest Academy, and managing her various RC responsibilities. She’s happiest on weekend getaways with family, friends, fun and food.